The article is written by former member of RoxetteBlog, Kirsten Ohlwein. Kirsten decided to leave RoxBlog in June 2018 and I’m sure a lot of fans have been missing her words since then. We missed her too, but now we are happy it seems that once in a while we can welcome her and share Kirsten’s writing on our blog. Here is her thoughts on the time passed by since 18th April 2016.
“It was a rainy day in October 2018 when I suddenly counted days without realizing it at first. I wondered for how many days the Roxette how we were used to know it (Per and Marie) didn’t exist anymore. Of course I couldn‘t figure out the exact number on my own and then I didn’t give it any further thought anymore, but some days ago I suddenly remembered it and I checked online. I wanted to know the date of the 1000th day. I put the date (18th April 2016) on a website… and it told me, yes, the 1000th day of the Roxette non-existence is 12th January 2019, Per’s 60th birthday. Nothing but a coincidence, but it put a sad smile on my face anyway.
1001 nights without Marie. And yes, I don’t count her rare appearances with releasing songs on her birthday in 2017 and 2018 and one song in winter 2017. Those are old recordings. It’s not that she was in the studio recently and decided to record them. Yes, the videos are new, I know. And still… everything is different.
1001 nights without Marie. And I realize that I let her go much earlier than I thought I would back on that day in April 2016. Yet – it took me a long time to accept the truth. You can’t let go something or someone easily that was so close to your heart for such a long time, that gave you some of the best memories in your life, that made you meet some of the best people in the world, people that became close and even closer friends. In autumn 2016 I started to come to terms with the fact that I would never see her in person. Ever again. That was the hardest part for me, and it still is. For the simple reason that she just appeared in a room and recharged my batteries instantly. For the simple fact that she made my life better just by singing a song being on stage in front of me, by smiling at me or by radiating with love and joy.
1001 nights without Marie. I made my peace with her having disappeared from all the stages, from public, living her life in privacy, surrounded by the people she loves. Because she nothing but deserves this so much. Who else showed death the finger and survived against all odds?
1001 nights without Marie. She proved me wrong. After April 16th, I had hoped for another miracle, for her to be too stubborn to give up, to be back in no time. Now I know she didn’t give up, it was just a necessary next step. She accepted it, she acted accordingly. She cheated death, probably more than once, she went on two world tours after that, she learned new songs despite the fact that she can’t read properly anymore, she recorded three Roxette albums within five years.
Do I still miss her? Yes, very often!
Do I still think of her? Yes, every day when I wake up and see her face tattooed on my calf.
Do I still hope for a wonder? No, we already had more than one.
Did I let go of her? Yes, the day I got her face on my calf forever. It’s a full stop. Everything came to a halt.
Does this article have any relevance? No, but why does it have to have relevance?
Do you still miss her?
Do you still think of her?
Do you still hope for a wonder?
Did you start to let go?
Do you think all of that has any relevance?
Today, and I can of course only speak for myself, I am happy that she is such a private person, living such a private life. I don’t want to know how she is doing, I don’t want articles in Swedish press, I don’t want press statements, I want her to live in peace, to sit at a table in the sun and enjoy life as much as possible.
And with this article I want her to thank one more and one last time for giving me the best time of my life, the emptiest bank account of all times, the best memories that I carry in my heart forever and the best vocals in some of the best pop tunes ever written!
Today, 1001 nights later, 1001 nights without Marie later, there is nothing but gratitude!
Last year I left the RXB team, because I felt it’s time to let that part of me go, too. A huge chapter in my life book is closed for quite some time now. I won’t stop following the fan pages or Per’s activities, but there won’t be any more concerts, I stopped purchasing new releases and I don’t consider myself an active fan anymore. So, this is my goodbye message to everyone out there in the Rox world that I know or those who know me! Thanks for all the meetings, the fun, the waiting in freaking heat or unbearable cold, for travelling with me, for understanding me, for still staying in touch with me, for some of the best years of my life! Gratitude, nothing but gratitude. Time flies when you’re having fun, right?
To the next 1000 days!
P.S.: In case something interesting comes up, don’t be surprised if you see an article from me here, anyway.“